Monday, December 10, 2012

5 Children Later

I can't believe I still get comments on this blog about the "Trusting God With Your Fertility" series I did back in 2007. I guess if you Google the words, "quiverfull" or "God and fertility," you still get sent to my blog. That makes me laugh.

If you are interested in reading the three posts, here they are: Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3

I have now been married for 10 years and had baby #5 this summer. I guess I can speak on this topic with a little life experience under my belt now (and probably alot more humor!) :) I heard very often in the beginning, "Your quiverfull now, but just wait until baby number whatever comes along." I'm pretty sure I've had baby number whatever by now, and we are still trusting God day by day, hour by hour sometimes :)

The most recent question someone posted after part #3 is, "How do you handle when people you love and who love Jesus are going through this process but still do not heed to scripture? How do you approach the topic with them and not become angry or judgmental?"

I have all sorts of experience with this question, especially right after we became "quiverfull." None of our friends were having babies yet, and most thought we were pretty crazy. Unfortunately, we lost most of those friends because we were at different places in our lives, and we gravitated towards new friends who had kids and other couples who were "quiverfull" in their beliefs. My main answer to your question of how you approach the topic with friends is that you don't. You pray for them and love them and pray that God would open their eyes, and that He would ready your heart to be open and loving to share with them when they are ready. Then you go about the business of your own life. You let your life and light shine before men. They will be drawn to you and start asking questions when they are ready. God could call you to share with someone specific, I'm sure, and you should be obedient, but for the most part, you will be banging your head against at wall talking to people about possibly have 8-10 kids, if the Lord hasn't changed their heart yet. Let God direct you. I bought a stack of "Does the Birth Control Pill Cause Abortion," and handed them out to friends at the time. I don't think they were very well received, no matter my good intentions.

The problem of being judgmental and angry is a separate issue. The judgmental one I dealt with in a big way. It is a problem of the heart. Humility. Love. Remembering that from which the Lord saved us. Who are we to judge the sanctification journey of other believers? It will stretch you, but you will see much growth over the years in this area if you repent and give it over to the Lord. Breastfeeding, C-sections, toddler temper tantrums, baby sleep methods...... There are so many issues that come up in parenthood that we could get very dogmatic about and judge other people's choices. Don't worry, the Lord will humble you one way or another :P He definitely has in my life. I no longer say, "I would never...."

Cling to the Lord in these early years that are very difficult. Difficult on you, your husband, and your marriage. They are the years to prepare rich soil, applying much compost and fertilizer (organic of course!), so that your life will begin to produce much fruit as your children get older.