41 Weeks + 4 Days

Yes, I am still pregnant. No, I don't intend to be much longer. I was up all night for the third night in a row with really strong contractions, the strongest so far. When daybreak hits, they seem to get scared away. I have many fears at this point (baby isn't in the right position, something's wrong, etc.) so I would covet your prayers. My midwife happens to be attending a birth 1 1/2 hours away right now, so the backup midwife is on her way over. I want her to check and see if I am dilated and talk about breaking my water if I am. I can't take another sleepless night and hours of pain. I think that being in labor for 3 days is enough, so I am really planning on having to go to the hospital today. I have reached my threshold of pain and don't feel like I can physically or mentally handle anymore. I admit to being critical of women who in my mind have "taken the easy way out," ie. pain meds, but I think this might be a lesson in humility for me as all I can think about is wanting an epidural RIGHT NOW! God seems to like to chip away at any judgmental attitudes I might have, which is a good thing, and maybe this can be laid to rest too. I will update when and if there is any news.